Whatever your networking style, two fundamentals apply:
- Build social capital by helping others. The more people you help now, the more help you’ll have if/when you need it.
- Know what you want. When it’s time to ask for help, be clear! If you don’t know what you want, you won’t be able to articulate it to others; so, how can they help?
With lots of social capital in your networking account and a clear vision of what you are trying to achieve, it’s time to ask for help. For many people, especially North Americans, giving to otherscomes naturally but asking for help is emotionally difficult. Much like the anxiety we feel when meeting new people, our fear of rejection can keep us from making a new connection or asking for help when it’s needed.
However your style gets you there, remember there is a ‘right way’ and a ‘wrong way’ to ask for help. Whatever you do, try to avoid these two common killers of goodwill:
1) Ask for help. Don’t shift the responsibility for your success to others. Ask for the specific support you need. Don’t ask someone to solve your problem for you.
WRONG: I need a job. Can you help me?
RIGHT: I’m thinking about joining XYZ Co. and I know you used to work there. Do you keep in contact with anyone that might be able to provide me some insight?
2) Make it easy to help. Most of us struggle to keep up with everything that’s on our plate. So, don’t expect follow-up unless you do the work for them.
WRONG: Thanks again for your willingness to introduce me to Brenda in Communications. Look forward to hearing from her.
RIGHT: Thanks again for your willingness to introduce me to Brenda in Communications. I’ve attached a sample intro note that explains why the meeting will benefit her.
Make the connection.
Build your social capital.
Be willing to ask for help when you need it.
But don’t do it all right, only to make an outreach etiquette faux pas (mistake, error, blunder) when it really counts!
